Expand your sense of humor with fast quotes, quick wit, convenient clichés, wisdom, fun and clever ideas.

Enjoy hundreds of select quips from comics, classics, editorials, bumper stickers and anonymous sayings.

Discover the most snarky, smiley, sanctimonious, sentimental, sacred, irreverent, tender, cheeky and enduring short funny punches. These off-beat quotes, pithy adages and short humorous poems cover every imaginable topic, vision and viewpoint.

Escape now into the world of SMIRK.

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Junk is something you’ve kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

If you’re going to do something wrong, at least enjoy it!

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

Mistakes just happen.Typos in print editorials, advertisements etc. that make us take a second look at what may possibly be Freudian slips can do it. Like: “They were married and lived happily even after.” Or “The sergeant is a twenty-year veteran defective on the police force.”

Then there’s the situation when Mad Magazine viciously spoofed the Circuit City stores, a once flourishing electronic distributor. Circuit City stores immediately removed the magazine from stores and discontinued selling the magazine. After a half-hearted apology from the Mad magazine people, Circuit City decided to put the magazine back on its shelves for customers to buy and also arranged to add some self-deprecating humor to their advertising campaign. The company recognized the value of humor in corporate marketing. Alas, that value wasn’t strong enough to withstand the recession of the 2000s.

It takes letters to make words. Memorable shapes, graceful vowels or forceful consonants. The magic letter K —why does the K sound produce a slight smile? It could be “Facial Feedback.” Many words featuring the sound K force the lips to turn up at corners, and the face smiles. Say “duck” or say “quack”, fun huh? Possibly this is why we associate the sound K with happiness. It’s the contagious nature of a happy face, no matter how low brow. People easily smile when they feel happier. However, the mechanism also works in reverse…maybe people feel happy simply because they have smiled. Either way, Joe Penner, a radio comedian, made himself pretty darn famous with a ducky tag line, “Wanna Buy a Duck?” That was in the 1940s, of course.

By the way, what does the English language have against the letter D? It appears to have a nice straight backbone and a curvaceous front contour but still so many words that begin with a D are downers. Disaster, dispirited, despise, doldrums, downcast, despondent, dull, dejected, death, debility, decay, defame, defile, disadvantage, disdain, disgrace, doom, downfall, dying, —enough, already.

So many smileable words are filled with pudding-sounding consonants ~~ Pop, buttock, dog, hockey puck and, of course onomatopoeia.

How about those words that are just fun to say.”Stuff” has a pretty high rating among editorial writers and just about all the rest of us. It’s all-inclusive and it sounds neat!

But what’s a PRODUCT? It’s anything === a new hat, a speaker who has a manager, a ten ton vehicle, an apple hanging on a tree or a cruise to exotic shores. When things are no longer stuff, they seem to become products— if they have some dollar value.

And the word for this era is — Dollar !
3/2′09

What goes on back stage in a comedy club is pretty much like high school. Plenty of back-biting, mud-slinging and nasty faces. Stand up comedians say that comedy is actually a blood sport. They steal each other’s one liners, pilfer and personalize another comic’s gestures. They hide the other guy’s props, like the rubber chicken that’s essential in the act of the next artist who is up to go on stage. Just a bunch of happy-go-lucky folks!

The writers who think up their jokes sense that witicisms are intended to be spoken out loud. Pronunciation or emphasis of a single word can make a difference in how the joke goes over. An unfamiliar word can stop audience attention. “What the heck does that mean?” It takes their minds off the flow of the act. It’s all pretty much a situation of Mindlessness over Matter.

Some of our more clever editorial writers give the impression of being cartoonists who can’t draw. We’re usually able to close our eyes and picture what they have in mind, huh?

Take a good look at your toes. Honestly, they are usually the most cheerful part of our bodies—and really fun!

There is something about the Right Foot toes and the Left Foot toes each having their own character. They’re all cute as heck, of course. Without a script or even a wiggle, they’re amusing. What a ridiculous design. But they work. Check them out and maybe give ‘em a wink.

* What amuses YOU? Never tell a joke unless you think it’s funny.
* Make a list of your favorite jokes, comedians and humorous things that happened to you. Jazz ‘em up!
* Create a file of grrreat jokes you hear. Steal them.
* Allow yourself to be silly. Learn to laugh at yourself.
* Surround yourself with humorous people with a positive outlook.
* Have fun.